towards my final journey

A day will come when I will have to bid adieu
To all those who are near and dear
Bidding farewell not to relocate
But to leave here and meet fate.

When the hourglass of my life
Ticks towards the final journey
I wonder how prepared I should be
Who and what can I take and leave?

Will my love come along with me
Will my siblings or kids give me company
Will I have to be alone in the final journey
When my soul leaves behind the body?

Will the jewels and wealth be of any need
Or will the attires I had be of any use
Will I have to leave behind my lovely house
And all that I had prized along with my spouse?

Will the anger I sometimes showed
Over power the love I had showered
Will there be some cherished memories
Or remembered of my great follies

I know I would not need jewels or wealth
Nor would I need house or the clothes I held
For life is short and full of surprises
And we are left with no choices.

I realize that all I want before I leave
Are some fond memories and happy thoughts
By leading a life filled with joy and cheer
And be remembered by all I hold dear.

Friendship is what we did share
Relationship so very genuine and rare
And then some acts I began to misdo
Too late when I began to rue.

A jealous feeling engulfed me
For I wanted friends to be close to me
And so I tied an invisible rope
Binding them, and not able to cope.

Writhing very much, heart filled with pain
And yet from me they did not refrain
Waiting patiently for me to understand
That friendship sans any type of band.

Fool that I was I failed to get the message
Bind I did tighten, and created a slippage.
Endurance power they seemed to lose
And soon to me they bid their adieus.

I stand all alone looking at the horizon
Because of the folly never to be undone.
Filling my heart with feelings of jealousy
Losing everything, I wander aimlessly.

To my mother

As I entered my mother’s place

I felt a shiver run down my spine
Waiting were you inside the ice box
For your son to have a glimpse of you.

Your face showing a look of serene
As if under the caress of gentle sleep
Decades of pain you went through
Now you are released from all sorrow.

Kith and kin paid their condolences
Crying out loud - why you had to leave
And this ma makes me wonder
Are you aware of the love they shower?

Their heart filled with gratitude
Your generosity they had forever valued
For even in times of pain all day through
You invited them with a loving smile

It hurts a lot to let you go
But we were given no other choice
And then I feel you sent a smile
A smile that says I am with you.

A whisper too you send to me
Telling us not to grieve
For you have joined dad above
To shower us with eternal love.

The blind beggar

Seated on a bus by the window side
I saw him climb up with cane as aide
His eyes covered with dark glasses
He extends the bowl to the masses.

Tapping his cane he reaches each seat
Saddening the travellers at his pitiable plight,
Into his bowl the coins find the way
He profusely thanks and moves away.

The driver returns to start the bus
We shout out to him in chorus
Helping the blind man climb down
Happy we feel to erase his frown.

As the bus moves, I happen to notice
A Change in our blind man’s status
Dark glasses his face sans
And the cane waving in his hands.

Laughing heartily as I look by
He bids me a barbed goodbye
From the bowl he counts the coins
Moving ahead his group he joins.

The manipulated lot

None to care or show concern
Different places they stand to earn
Be it temple entrance or street side
Garbage bins or station platforms they reside.

Some blind, some dumb too
Sick to the core, their numbers accrue
Some handless, yet some on crutches
Their face is marked by wrinkles and creases.

Tapping at your car window
You see a face filled with sorrow
Eyes that sunk deep by starvation
Dishevelled revealing poverty-stricken

As you lower down the window pane
You notice her with kid deep in pain
She says, "hungry ma for many days
A little mercy would show some ways."

Suddenly you see her face turn in fear
Her emotions seem totally unclear
Turning towards the direction of her eyes
You see a man one would sure despise.

The sad plight of these beggars
Is revealed when they hand over
What they earned by way of begging
To the ruffian, without thinking.

Taking away the lion’s share
He moves away as they stare
And meekly the beggars go their way
For tomorrow they face another hard day.

Irony of human mind

A snippet of what I watched on TV in some comedy channel.

Let us name him Mr. X
Mr. X arrives in a village……with not a penny in his hand and no idea of how to make a living. Moving around the village he notices the villagers to be real simpletons. An idea flashes across his mind and he is all set to put it into action.

A crowd is gathered around him. Two men, of which one happens to be a Brahmin see the crowds flocking around him and go near to find out what it is about. They hear Mr. X shouting – Rs.100 for the darshan of God, Rs.100/- for the darshan of God. So this Brahmin asks him if it is real. Mr. says, if God does not give darshan he would return the amount as Rs.200/- Our Brahmin friend shells out Rs.100/-. All are asked to assemble near the hill top. The D day dawns and the crowd throng around Mr.X again and put their doubt to him. Mr. X now more confident says if God does not give darshan, he would return not just Rs.200/- but Rs.2000/- This makes the people believe him more and all wait for the darshan of the God. Suddenly Mr. X screams – Oh my Lord you did not fail me amidst these villagers. Thanks to you Lord that you have given your darshan today. One man says he is not able to have the vision of God and immediately Mr. X says – Oh poor man, it is because your wife has sinned and been unfaithful to you that you are not able to have the darshan of God. Suddenly the Brahmin also shouts out – Yes Lord I see you, I see you. When asked by his friend he says, it is better to lie than put his wife to shame. And immediately, all the villagers praise the Lord, for having given them his Divya Darshan.
Mr. X quietly leaves the place his hands full of money. He remarks – so long as there are such foolish people living, it would never be hard to earn money.

There is hardly any comedy in this snippet. All along it says the worst nature of mankind. Their views about God, their thoughts to cheat on innocent people and their ideas about defaming women folk, all along it is a negative notion.

The jest about having the darshan of God shows the length to which human beings can portray themselves. We stoop too low in our attitudes by using God’s name and cheating out the innocent people/simpleton. And the villagers who are most willing to pretend having seen something that they in reality have not and in that process prove that they have not sinned shows the height of foolishness inherent in them.

This reminded me of the story – The Emperor’s New Clothes.

Where exactly are we heading to by this lowly act of ours? A sure sign of making people move farther away from believing and trusting in God.
I searched for you My Lord almost everywhere. So desperate was I to see you and know you that I failed to search the place where you actually reside. I realized my foolishness and searched for you inside me and there I found you waiting and smiling at me as if asking why it took me so long to reach you.

The Lord dwells in every heart. So if you desire to win the Lord's pleasure, just do not cause hurt to any one's heart. Shanti Vachan Bhandar, 21.

"God is within you, and that which is within you is subject to self-realization. No one can show God to anyone else. One has to independently realize his real self; thereby he realizes the self of all, which is called God. In the state of ignorance, the student thinks that God is a particular being, and he wants to see that being exactly as he sees something in the external world. It never happens. But when he realizes that God is truth and practices truth in action and speech, then his ignorance about the nature of God disappears and self-realization dawns. Swami Rama (2001). Living with the Himalayan Masters, P.64. "

When the morning dawns

The Sun sends out its first ray
Giving us two options
Either feel happy or sulk entire day.

Today is a gift from god to you
Wrapped with love and happiness
A day one would never have ever again
Once missed we can never regain.

Or if you want to sulk all day long
Go ahead do it if it pleases you
But remember you sure would be
Not just a loner in life, but a loser too.

That is what those would face
Their lovely face devoid of smile
Choice is yours dear mankind
So says the Almighty.

Yesterday is gone, do not rue
And tomorrow will never come
But today is right before you
Enjoy it before it slips right through.

Smile through the day
For it costs you nothing
It brings happiness not only to you
But to those near and dear too.

Religion Conversion

There was a time when Hindus, especially the downtrodden classes were forced to convert their religion by the Christians. This was an easy task due to the ill treatment meted out to them by the upper class Hindus and at such times, the Christians offered solace.

Now it is the vice versa. The Hindus are forcing Christians to convert religion and that too with threaten of death if failed to do so. These Christians do convert their religion and to identify themselves as Hindus, they either shave their heads or wear a swastika symbol around their neck. Do they think that by just converting into Hindus and wearing the Hindu symbol around their neck…these converted Christians are Hindus now. Does not the heart and mind have any say in this. The lips might chant the Hindu mantras. The rituals performed might be that of Hindus, but Jesus is who is in their hearts. Why not let them be so? What are the Hindus trying to prove by forcing Hinduism on them? That they are superior, that they are the supreme beings. That Hinduism is the BEST RELIGION? What does it matter to them as to the religion that is being followed? Do they not realize that by forcing Hinduism on Christian, all that they are inculcating is hatred for the religion? Does not an individual have the right to follow his/her religion? That which brings peace to my mind and heart is the one I should follow, not the one that brings tension or hatred to my heart.

What to call such an act on part of the Hindus? Is it stupidity, or is it foolishness on their part? Or is it better to address this act as insanity and cruel mindedness? Why does it not strike to those who are performing such an act that this thing brings out the cheap-minded thoughts and actions that demean this religion?

Waking up to better days in our lives with no hatred but love for each other as an individual should be the motto. After all what is this thing called religion – something created by man only. Follow the simple rule of Live and Let Live. Be there for each other as and when the need arises. Shower love to one and all. Just remember there is someone high above all of us, The Supreme Creator.

Pay tips or else – the threat looming at almost every household people when they receive the refilled cylinder. Booking and receiving LPG cylinders has become a big problem. Almost each household is met with unreasonable demand from the boys who deliver the cylinder.
I narrate some instances that I happened to witness:
Having shifted our residence from Mumbai to Chennai in the year 1996, our first job was to get the cylinder connection in Chennai. We went to the nearest dealer and got all the paper work done. We then enquired as to when we would get the cylinder. He said we could either take it along with us or wait for three days. We decided to take the two cylinders along with us and paid him for two cylinders. The person in charge asked us to give him Rs.5/- extra per cylinder. When asked why he said, it was towards charges for delivering the cylinder. Charges for delivering, but we are taking them ourselves, my husband shot back. So what he said. When he realized after some arguments that he would not be paid, he said if that is the case, we could come and collect our cylinders each time in future also. He made it clear that he would ensure the cylinders would not be delivered at our place in the future. So be it said my husband and we returned home. Though he did not enforce his threat I had to concede the insistent demands made by the delivery boy by paying him extra over the normal charges for cylinder.
When my neighbor had her cylinder brought after a delay of more than a week, she had this to contend with. When she handed over Rs.345/-, Rs.6/- more than the price of Rs.338/95, he demanded Rs.5/- more. When asked why, he said Rs.10 was the charge that they were collecting for delivering a cylinder. When she refused, he returned the Rs.6/- asking her to keep the tips to herself or shell out Rs.10/- as his delivering charges. Fearing future problems of delayed delivery of cylinder or being given a half-used cylinder, my neighbor paid the tips as demanded by the delivery boy.
Her fears are not unfounded since these boys do create problems by not delivering the cylinder due to the concerned people.
When asked why they are demanding tips when told it is not allowed, the cylinder delivery boy say they are forced to collect tips since their employer has not been paying their salary for the past few months. And that their daily living depends wholly on the tips that they get. These delivery boys do ensure they get what they consider is their legitimate share.
There was another incident when I was told that I would be receiving the cylinder in 4 days time. Not receiving my cylinder even after a week had lapsed I called the dealer and was told that the cylinder has already been sent. The same response came from the storehouse also. And yet, I had not received the cylinder. When there was no sign of the cylinder reaching me, I went to their office and demanded an explanation. The person there had the cheek to tell me that I probably did not receive the cylinder as I had refused to pay tips to them before. I showed him the invoice and asked why is it typed out in bold and red "DO NOT GIVE ANY TIPS TO THE BOYS." And why have they put so prominently in the notice board that salary for the delivery boys have been increased and so tips are not to be entertained? He said that it was just for compliance and I should not give importance to all those. And I still could choose to either pay them the tips or just let go and wait for the cylinder to come. However he did assure me that I would receive the cylinder in the afternoon. I did too. And I had to shell out their rightful tips.
There are some smart boys who sell cylinders to people willing to pay extra, not just tips but something more than Rs.25 to Rs.50 per cylinder. This happened during a shradham at my mother’s place. My mother had to pay Rs.25/- extra plus their regular tips besides the original cylinder rate. It is wrong I know, since someone is waiting for the cylinder elsewhere. But that is exactly how these people manipulate.
The delivery boy had the nerve to sell the cylinder that was to be delivered at my place to someone else. And few days later he brought me the cylinder and said it was not necessary to sign the receipt, as it was not compulsory. Later I realized the reason was because my receipt had already been signed and handed over back to the agency.
It sure is a considerate thought to pay some extra amount to these delivery boys, who bring these heavy cylinders withstanding the heat and rain. But insisting that the consumers have to pay them tips and deciding amongst themselves on what amount to be paid puts off even those who are willing to be considerate. The delivery boys follow this policy. "Pay the tips or else face the consequence of not receiving the cylinder. Choice is yours."
Though this is not consumer friendly, we just give in to their demands thereby facing a literally helpless situation.

My driving lessons

Sitting beside my husband and watching him steering the car with such effortless ease, I developed an instant desire to do likewise. How wonderful it would be if I could also drive so well, I thought. When I expressed my wish to my husband, he readily agreed to teach me. The very next day before he made me hold the steering wheel he taught me the ABC’s (accelerator, break, and clutch) of car driving. Only after some more theory lessons and quizzing me, he let me start the car ignition. Nervous and excited I put the gear in 1st position and pressed the accelerator. A sudden jerk and phut went the car abruptly. Baffled I turned towards my smiling husband who told me to let the clutch slowly and press the accelerator equally slowly when giving the car a start. After a few trials and testing the patience of my husband…the car started to roll. Even as I was getting instructions as to when to change the gears etc, I soon felt I had learnt it all and was happy that I could drive the car like he did when his hysterical and sudden shout brought me back to reality. He was frantically pointing to a large herd of buffaloes casually moving towards the car with reckless insouciance. Oh wow what an audience I thought for a moment. I stopped the vehicle waiting for them to pass the car and give me unrestricted space to move ahead. As we drove on we saw a man a little away walking on the middle of the road as if the entire road belonged to him. My repeated pressing of the horn had little effect on him with no indication from him to make way for the car. Seated beside me my husband told me, "The control of car is in your hands. The road ahead is not only for you but for other careless users also…make sure you don’t hit the vehicle on anybody. And if you do so, be clear that I would not be accompanying you to the police station." Newly married and not knowing whether he was serious or making a jest I gave a wide berth to the man on the road and managed to reach safely back home with the thought that there goes my dream to dust.
Few years later…an opportunity came for me to learn car driving. My friend and I found a driving school and enrolled our names there. After paying the initial deposit of Rs.1000/- each, we were thrilled when the tutor came with a tiny battered Maruti car the next day. My friend wanted to be the first to sit in the driver’s seat and we had the car moving with very little difficulty in starting it. She drove the car with no hurdle for a few kilometers and on our return I took to the wheel. I was immensely pleased when the tutor asked me if I had driven the car earlier and I was just refreshing my driving lessons.
The 2nd day was equally thrilling. More so because we found that the road was left entirely for us to enjoy and we could move without the fear of hurting anyone. My friend drove onward and I drove on return. The third day he took the same route. And this time we noticed that the petrol tank was on the verge of becoming empty. We did not enquire. But when it was the same in the following two days with the petrol level touching the red mark, we asked the tutor if we would be able to drive down both ways with the scanty petrol. He said there was no problem whatsoever and we could drive long distance with that level of petrol. This went on for five days with us picking our driving and theory lessons. On the sixth day he sent one of his drivers to teach us. This driver being smart said he would help us learn to drive a car earlier than the 22 days schedule provided we brought our own car and willing to pay him extra. Not interested to do so we declined politely. Three classes later neither our tutor nor his driver turned up. Upset at the delay in our becoming the proud owners of a driving license, all our efforts to contact him over the mobile failed. Assuming he might not be feeling well or so, we took an auto to the driving school only to find it closed. On enquiry we were shocked to know that Suvidha Driving School has been closed and the owner had left for his native place forever a few days back.
Disheartened we decided to take out our cars on alternate days and complete the lessons on our own. Luckily our husbands wholeheartedly supported the idea. So when I drove my car my friend became my tutor and when she drove the car I became her tutor. We slowly moved ahead driving around our colony and the nearby roads. When we became a little more confident we took our car to the main roads. It was just a matter of a few days before we obtained the license from the authorities.
Thrilled at having learnt most of driving by ourselves, and eagerly waiting to show my husband my driving skills, I took him in the car to the nearby Ayyapa temple. Receiving compliments from my husband, I felt I was in heaven.
I got an opportunity soon to showcase this skill of mine to my in-laws too when we drove down to Bangalore. Oh god! Was it not exciting and memorable to take to highway. And it gave me great joy when my co-sister asked me to give her driving lessons.
But not accustomed to driving car regularly, my skill seems to have slept now.
And the fact that learning to drive a car has been done without the help of a good tutor, there is some hesitancy to go ahead. So I know I need to refresh my driving skills and so am waiting for a good tutor to help me achieve the same.

Ban on smoking

Ban on smoking
So much of late has been written and spoken on the topic ever since it has been brought as a rule – Ban on smoking.
Might be we could learn a little from this village – A.Pudupatti – near Madurai, as reported in the Hindu. This village with a population of 3500 has a self-imposed ban on smoking cigarettes, beedies and tobacco, for the past 90 years. Solid 90 years of non-smoking, amazing is it not. The mention of tobacco sends people into rage. Any outsider seen smoking is gently told to go to the outskirts to satisfy the pleasure they obtain from smoking.
Well nothing is gained without loss, so it is said. The reason behind this ban happens to be a major fire that was caused when a person carelessly threw a cigarette butt on a haystack. This made the people resolve that never again would any shop in the village sell any of these products/items and neither does one find a wine shop in this village.
The village does have its proud moments when they say most of the youngsters here are non-smokers.
The question is do we have to face a calamity or disaster to strike on us, do we need our lungs to choke because of the smoking habits to resolve that we would never do this thing ever again in our lives? Which in most cases happens to be a belated one, more so because enough harm, has already been done.
It has been rightly put by Duane Alan Hahn in his quote – "When are people going to realize that breathing in smoke from anything that burns is not a good idea?"
What right do we have to knowingly cause harm to ourselves and to those around us? Each individual has to resolve that he/she would give top priority to their own health and that of others around him/her. After all of what use is this few moments of pleasure gained by putting the entire life into jeopardy which is a sure sign of dying daily.
So before we go to that extent of losing out on our lives let us fight tobacco, to ensure that we win the war against cancer."

Pleasure, which must be enjoyed at the expense of another's pain, can never be enjoyed by a worthy mind. Pleasure's couch is virtue's grave. - Augustine J. Duganne.

Listening to elders

Why is it that one finds it extremely difficult to listen to elders, who happen to be one of our near family members? Why does it not register in our minds that our people have only the very good wishes for us and whatever they say or do is for our very own good? Especially more so, when they do have the experience about good and bad.
I found myself criticizing my sister for not listening or paying heed to what has been told by our parents. She considers advises and thoughts of someone else as the best one for her when she ignores those said by her own people. And most of the time the views/opinions/thoughts/ ideas told by an outsider is exactly what has been told to her for her very own good by family member.
And realization struck me that I too am behaving in exactly the same way. I decided not to listen to an advice given by my mom while the same given by my neighbor I immediately agreed. Only to find that what my mom told was much more apt in the situation. And that is how it happens in most of the cases where we heed not to their words or advises. (I do agree good friends and some neighbors do have good will in their heart for us.)
Questions I have been asking myself:
Why do we do so? Is it because we don’t want to hurt the feelings of our neighbor or is it that we want to be in their good books? Does it not strike us that in the process of not wanting to hurt outsiders we do hurt the feelings of our dear ones? So do we find it correct to hurt our own people while trying to be in the good books of others and more so when how we lead our lives is in no way something that they would be interested in?
Parents who have given their all to ensure their offspring does not suffer in life or at least minimize the children’s suffering are pained a lot by this childish act, they hide it so as to not disappoint their loved ones. But the eyes hide not the real feelings and emotions. Why do we ignore the tears and words that the eyes say? Have we become so blind to these in our life?
When are we going to come out of the false status that we have been building around ourselves in the wrap of doing the role of being a goody goody in the eyes of outsiders.

How rightly it has been quoted:
"I have noticed that many people can admire only those who are inaccessible to them. They cannot admit or admire the genius of a person within their local community or circles. This phenomenon is even more amusing when you find that a guru or a specialist ceases to be one in their minds as soon as he/ she is accessible to them."

Friends are there for you

Friendship is a lovely gift
Never let it go adrift
Never let something to stain
For once lost you can never gain.

Give it the value it richly deserves
Ban unwanted thoughts that swerves

it has been shown - sure is friendship
Something more than just relationship

When in hours of need friends assure you
Never would they bid adieu
They would be there to erase your tear
And ensure to throw away your fear.

Rest assured you would never be alone
Never would they let you into the world unknown
They would hold your hands forever
Even after the warmth makes you abler.

Long after things grow old

The trust you place they surely would hold
A friendship so precious more than a jewel
That is something they want to be eternal

light at the end

When the world seems to turn against you
When things don't go as you expected them to
When you feel this must be the end
As you find turmoils at every bend.

Deep inside you feel not the light
Something is blocking the vision from your sight.
As you strain your eyes to see
Not a trace of anything even faintly.

All of a sudden a flash of light
Blinds your eyes, being so bright
Hands covering tightly your eyes
Out of the situation you try rise.

Open your eyes you hear someone say
Let me lead you out of this bay
Give me your hand I shall take you
And together, to problems let’s bid adieu.

night so lovely

Beautiful moon I do see
Peeping from behind the clouds
Shining little pretty stars
Adorning the vast sky
Sitting back and feeling relaxed
I love nature, its beauty I admire.

Yonder is the silhouette of trees
Bending and swaying to the gentle breeze
A lovely scene satiating our eyes
And in the silence of the night
Mild sound do I hear
Of the rivers flowing through
Crickets chirping and frogs croaking.

No musical instruments are played
None to render a song
Yet nature’s orchestra team
With its music divine to our ears
Fills our heart with inner peace.
I close my eyes and savour
The beauty of mother-nature
Happiness filling my heart to brim
And I truly wish and pray
This night would never end.

Then I hear night whispering to me
Sorry dear I have to leave
Across the globe I do have
Others also to please
But I promise to return by dusk
And fill you with happiness again.
Slowly the stillness of the night
Paves the way for sun to arise.
Elegant and majestic sun shows its face
And begins the day with joy and grace.

With lots of love

Brought into this lovely earth
We know not what lies ahead
But pray please do pay heed
When told, never succumb to greed.

As we move and learn to live
To meet our demands, we do strive
In the process we meet people so true
Whose heart is so, beautiful and pure.

A relationship that lends us a shoulder
When life seems like pushing a boulder
God sent angels we call them friends
With them around we forget the bends

In friendship do you seek wealth and gold
Then stand back and do not hold
For friendship is such a priceless treasure
So precious, nothing can equal its measure.

Night time vehicle users - Use your dippers please

Travelling by road during night is probably the worst nightmare one could ever go through. Riding my two-wheeler during night, I notice vehicles coming in the opposite direction speeding down the road with their headlights on in high beam. (This blinds the vehicle users and pedestrians coming in the opposite direction for a few minutes. Total black out one could say. A sort of panic or tension is created when visibility is next to nothing for those few moments.) I have tried indicating to them that the headlights are in high beam position and can be dipped for better vision for the other vehicles by alternating my lights from dipper to high beam and back to dipper again. The sad point is most of them neither acknowledge, having seen me alternating my headlights nor do they change to dipper position. They just speed past and in that fraction of a second all that I see ahead is total darkness. I have to strain my eyes for a few moments before I can see ahead clearly.

Same, is the case of vehicles coming behind with lights on high beam. The lights seen in the rear view mirror is equally glaring for the vehicle user, this in turn ensures the rider/driver of the vehicle (going ahead) has no clear sight of what is coming behind him.

I have also come across drivers of heavy vehicles and cars who probably feel they would save on their battery life if they don’t switch on the lights during night. They feel streetlight helps in seeing the way so why waste their vehicle’s battery life. And there are some very smart drivers of heavy vehicle who manage to keep just one of their headlights on in high beam. And vehicles coming in the opposite direction are lucky if the lights or on the right side of the oncoming vehicle. If it is on the left side and with the high beam lights glaring and blinding the eyes…it sure looks like an invitation from high above saying "Welcome home dear".

Some accidents occurring in the night could be averted to a large extent if the vehicle users just use their mind a little and switch their lights from high beam to dippers when they see a vehicle approaching.

An earnest request to vehicle users – Let not the high beam headlights that you use for your own convenience and sometimes due to negligence be the reason to create darkness in some lives.

Time and Tide waits for no one

Seeing him walking up and down the room
Sit down with me please she requested
An argument erupted and he did fume
Brushing aside the tears, her chores she attended.

Let's go for a walk, she asked of him
Not now dear am too tired, he replied.
She knew his tensions were up to the brim
Smiling away the disappointment, she stepped aside.

Ready for a drive, she put forth her desire -
Have a meeting he said matter a bit crucial.
Not wishing to further enquire
Into her kitchen she did hustle.

Let's take a long ride she pleaded
Not now dear, put aside your pleasure
Kids needs are first to be acceded
Postpone your desire for the future.

Spare a few minutes and let me be thine
To this request, let kids settle in life he said
Oh god what a selfish desire of mine
Guilt overwhelming, her heart did bled

Sit with me dear, he requested
Holding his hands she did as told.
Sitting with him was what she wanted
Worth it was much more than gold.

He once requested for a stroll
Anything for you she did remark
She needed no words of cajole
Together they went to a park.

Set aside some time for me he said
All my time, she said, is at your disposal
Being with him was what she wanted
Moments for which anything she'd cancel.

Sitting in the verandah beside him
Her fingers clasping, deep in bliss
Looking up at him she smiled in the dim
A smile before he happened to miss

As he felt her fingers loosen slowly
All that he could see in her place
When tears blinded him like a curtain
Was a silhouette of her lovely face.

Leave me not, he put forth his request
And he woke up from his reverie
Her absence he could not digest
And his life he felt was dumpy.

Tears whelming again he recollected
Her words, never again to be heard
"When the time really comes my dear
For all you know, I might not be near.

Random thoughts

1. However rich in terms of money
a man in this earth happens to be
the oxygen he needs to breathe
is god's gift to him for free.

2. Smile - lights up the face
gives the owner a lovely grace
it keeps the frowns away
ensures tears are at bay
provides a life filled with cheer
for what else are we for here.

3. When things go wrong as they should'nt
when life seems difficult to sail in rough weather
when everything seems so bleak and thinner
when you feel you can go no further
think of and keep faith on the one in the altar
who is here to see you through thick and thin
for he who created the night
ensured sunshine is not far away.


4. Warm morning wishes sent your way
to wish you have the very best day
Smile and laugh and keep cheery
live life today and be merry


5. Wishes adorned and sent with a smile
Are so sweet and worthwhile
To the sender it adds a grace
While the receiver's worries it does erase.

To my love

Tomorrow my love leaves, ere the day would be bright

So please stand still I requested of the night

I need memories to last through during his absence

So let me savour every second of his presence.

Don't move I requested the moon
don't go to send the sun so soon
with my love leaving me tomorrow
I don't want the night to narrow.


Be still I pleaded with time
each second to me is worth many a dime
Tomorrow I have to bid my love adieu
So please postpone the arrival of morning dew.


Tomorrow for sure may be too late
and I don't want to blame it on fate
and with no intention to rue
Tonight I will tell him - I love him true

unity/disparity

Learning many a things to stay alive
When at school to adjust, we strive
English, Hindi math or game
Together we would try to achieve fame.

Teachers always held in high esteem
To support us do they act as beam
Trust in them is what lets us go
To reach for the stars high above.

Somewhere did we all go wrong
To unbind the love that was so strong
For otherwise would we ever hear
Hatred in hearts all due to fear

Some teachers don’t keep up to the respect
Stooping way below in many an aspect
Biased are some in their view
To them are favorites not all but few

Morals and values of life put to shame
Parents and teachers each other they blame
Where oh where are these heading to
Affected are the children by what we do.

Come out off this negative shell one and all
Lets go way beyond what is our fall
Lets join hands and vow to be friends
And create unity that never ends.

Message for my love

Oh mighty sun shining so bright
paving the way from darkness to light
pass this message to my dear
am thinking of him, when he is not near

gently flowing oh sweet breeze
swaying as you move, the pretty leaves
as you flow and reach my beloved
tell him how I long to be loved

easy to send and lots one can say
any time of the day it makes its way
oh today's postman, we call you email
please tell him, love can never fail.

I keep the doors open for him
lights at home, shining in the dim
my waiting proved to be fruitful
when you came in with your arms full

Hardly any space I had I realized
so, the things I just pushed aside
In your arms I want to cherish
the memories that I forever relish

Friends and Friendship

All alone trying to hold

Is not easy, everyone told
But I did try my level best
To realize, true were the rest.

Dear, the almighty said
You sure can go ahead
But remember, friends are there
to assist you, when in despair.


But do you have to eternally wait
for these pressing needs to state
why in friendship, hesitation impedes
friends are waiting to show warmth thro deeds.

To my love

Never do I tire of seeing you

Believe me these words are true

It’s your presence that makes me live

If I have hurt, I ask you to forgive.

If your eyes mine don’t meet

Never assume our relationship is beat

Something said has hurt me deep

Seeing you that time, tears do seep.

The hurt in heart does seem to pain

But never have I felt the relationship strain

Deep from my heart I say with zeal

The Love for you that I always I feel.

It is your charm that sent slow my pace
I’d give anything to see the smile in your face

brittleness in relationship, would be erased by the angel

And the Love we share will be made eternal

Atrocious Act by human beings

The newspaper had this news to report. "Child thrown into well survived."
A 7 day old child (happens to be a female baby) was found in a well. It appears that the baby was thrown into the unused irrigation well, but the infant got caught and entangled in thick thorny bushes in the 60 feet deep well which had 20 feet water. The cries of the baby brought the nearby residents and fortunately or unfortunately the baby was saved. The picture showed the baby’s hands all wound in bandages.
Same news also reported about a 5month old baby girl abandoned in a drainage channel.
These babies were probably thrown because they happen to be girl babies, or because of financial constraints to rear a girl baby or that the baby happens to be an illegitimate child.
If the babies have been abandoned because it happens to be a female, then people please remember, even in the poorest families, girls have proved to be real gems, and in no way inferior to boys in any field in the present day of living.
If the babies were abandoned because of financial constraints, parents please make use of protection against unwanted pregnancy when you want to satiate your physical desires. There are so many cheap options available in the market nowadays, even the nearest government clinic would provide these.
And if the babies were abandoned because it happens to be illegal, then my question is why ever did the mother have to undergo the 10month trial, bring life into this earth and just throw the babies into the drainage or well to let them die. It would have been better if an abortion has been done in the initial trimester itself. And the best suggestion for the couples is, to get, themselves sterilized so that they can go about satisfying their physical needs and lust and yet not do the inhuman act of abandoning the babies.
Whatever be the reason, it just shows the ruthless, heartless and inhuman act by the people involved in this cruel deed. In this regard animals happen to be a better creation of God. Even at critical times of their life, they only think of saving their babies and not abandoning them. A lesson to be learnt from this wonderful creation of the Almighty.

Subdued Fire

Writhing in pain because of betrayal
From unexpected quarters – so very brutal
Tears welling and rushing out
Controlling it she could not.

Opening the valve of the shower
She let the water flow on her
Clearing the tears as the water flow
Closing her eyes she let them go.

Her eyes now closed she could sense
Yellow and red fire so dense
She realized the feeling with awe
She was burning inside, very raw.

Allowing the water do their charm
Thereby releasing her from the alarm
Slowly she saw the obtuse fire
Whimper and letting go the ire.

As she now opened her eyes
She could feel the cool slowly arise
Allowing the form of an aura of peace
Not anymore she felt the crease.

As she closed her eyes again
Doubting, if exists the fire of pain
What she saw amazed her
In place of fire a lovely white flower.

Friends

Friends that I have are very few
but from heart I know they are all true
I do keep regular contact
but never felt the need to keep a pact
for friendship blossoms from the heart
and good friends never go apart

Never stop or own the moral excellence in a person. It would be futile, since moral excellence as a character in a person, is like the fragrance of the flower that spread far and wide as the wind blows, with no boundaries for it. Everyone in this world needs to smell the fragrance of moral excellence and follow the same, so as to spread it further.

Initial charm weans as time passes.

The initial enthusiasm with which one gets involved, the inner depth and interest in any activity is soon followed by a neglected attitude in them.
Any activity for that matter, be it movies, corruption, murders, ruthlessness amidst people, the scam, the scandal, sports, etc. make sensational news today and is soon forgotten.
The good deeds are remembered if the person happens to be an extraordinary person or has done something exemplary. Even these people are forgotten and are remembered either on their birthdays or death anniversary, soon to be forgotten again.
And what about the crimes and mistakes committed. Do people learn from these mistakes? No, never, they just brush it off like some dust speckle and continue to do the same. And in most cases, this paves way for others to follow and commit any mistakes. And such crimes soon become news of the past when justice is denied or delayed.
Ok what about love. Here too the intensity is lessened. It is almost taken for granted when it has been accepted by both. And when it leads to marriage, well the honeymoon is over and so is the fun and frolic, so back to mundane activities seems to be the motto.
Unfortunately so is the case of many friendships. Starting with a hesitating hi, it goes on to blossom into a wonderful friendship, but sooner or later, there too it vanishes, either when one of them moves away to a different locality. The words and promises – your friendship is like life to me, not a day can pass if I don’t speak to my friend, so on and so forth, are not even remembered.
Why does the initial charm fade away? Is it because a new path has paved its way or is a new path being paved because the charm has lost everything it could say?
One of my friend was leaving for USA. And he had this to say to me, "Lakshmi, I expect at least one mail from you everyday. I sure would respond to all your mails. If I fail to receive even one mail per day, I would punish you severely when I return back home." Well I kept up the word from my side. Initially he responded to all my mails. And soon I would receive replies to mails after one week and the gap widened. Now I hardly ever send or receive mails from him. We do chat once in a while. Might be I too am to be blamed, why did I stop the regular activity that I used to do? But however deep inside I know, and so does he, that the friendship between us is still fresh and will be forever so.
Probably, in relationship, it is best not to pay attention to the weaning of the initial charm. The core matter probably lies fresh deep within, no matter how many days have elapsed. It can bring back the interest whenever needed. That is why it has a special name Friendship.

MY DEAR FRIEND

These words as a poem I wrote with a particular friend in my mind.
My thanks to him, whose encouraging and inspiring words,
prompted me to try my hand in writing. I know I am still an
amateur and have a long way to go and improve myself.
Thanks dear friend. I could go on saying more, but the pages
Would just not suffice to accept all my views.

Thank you GOD for giving me a true friend

Searching for a wonderful relationship
The best is what I call true friendship
I keep asking GOD for one such friend
And wondered why I lack in this end.

Many a people did he show
I later realized why HE did so
Trying to make me understand
The inherent qualities I can withstand.

And when HE knew I understood
HE did send me a friend so good
A relationship so pious and true
My dear friend, it is YOU

Platonic Relationship/friendship

Is it so difficult to have a platonic relationship?
I put forth this question to a very good friend of mine. His answer to it is - Ideally speaking yes, but practically speaking NO. Such relationships might be possible but the percentage of it is way too minimum, to even be seen.

Can there not exist a relationship between a man and a woman that is devoid of physical desires in it? Why does the society show narrow mindedness when it sees a man and a woman together and brand their friendship as an ‘affair’ or say there sure is "something" going between the two?
Why should it mean that in a good friendship between two people, there is a hidden affair going on?
Does friendship between a man and a woman culminate only to satiate physical desires between the two? Does love between friends of opposite gender, only mean something to do with carnal cravings?

My views about a platonic relationship is not where the friends sit with each other for hours together, either face to face or chat over phone or internet and in the process neglect their family life or ignore their spouse. It is also not about a situation, where the friends feel missed if they don’t see each other or talk to each other, even for a day.

I do believe a platonic relationship between a man and a woman is possible. It is one of the sweetest friendship that one can ever experience.

If such friendship is fading away from our lives it is more so because of the possessive feeling of their spouse. The suspicious nature inherent in the spouse of the friends leads them to conceal this relationship. The fear that such a relationship can not be accepted or will be misunderstood or what the society may say, to such a friendship, which in turn affects their family life, leads them to hide this relationship. When a situation arises as to which to hold on to – family or friend, to ensure smooth running of the family, family seems to be the one they have to choose as they are committed to it. Thereby the friendship remains hidden, or nipped off in the bud stage itself.

Trust/faith/belief call it whatever you want, is the base that holds strong and tight any relationship. Marriage is based on this concrete foundation named trust. If that trust is not visible, then how can one ever lead a life with happiness and joy in it. The absence of trust makes one suspect the other in life. Injecting venom in the seeds planted will lead to the death of the plant even before the shoots show their face, the plant just withers and dies, because the venom has settled in the roots. Does the root survive? Never. Such is the disaster that is created because of venom in the form of suspicion in relationship.

Physical relationship between spouses is something that binds them together. And it is a form of expressing love between them. And in that love is the trust that they share between them. I cannot, in thoughts or deeds, imagine a person having physical relationship with someone other than their own spouse. The relationship that one shares with their spouse is totally different from those shared with friends. There is this component of love in both the relationships. They have their own way of being expressed.

If the heart and mind is pure, the relationship is genuine, the trust is incomparable, then just seek out with sincerity in heart, one is sure to find a friendship that has only pure love in it – platonic friendship .

'Tis the perception of the beautiful, A fine extension of the faculties, Platonic, universal, wonderful, Drawn from the stars, and filtered through the skies, Without which life would be extremely dull"
- Lory Byron

When in Debt - Mangala

Mangala earned her livelihood working in many houses as a maid. She had to feed her three children and her good-for-nothing drunkard husband. Her husband felt it his right to live off in her salary, just drinking and betting on horses, even though all that he has ever done was drain her salary in full. The daily wage job that he attended, he felt was not upto his level. So the number of days that he stayed away from the job was more than the number of days he would go to work. More so he needed to be away from his job so that he could be present at the racing and gambling places. End result, the money that he brings home was not sufficient even to meet just his needs alone.
Not having had any education herself, Mangala wanted her children to study and now her children were in class 11, class 10 and class 7. Studying in corporation schools, her children did not disappoint her, they studied dedicatedly and the efforts were proving good with them gaining good grades in school. The income she earned was meagre and so she worked doubly hard to provide for their school facilities also. There were times when she found it real difficult to meet their school demands and so borrowed from the houses where she worked. Being an honest and sincere lady, she repaid the loan the day she received her salary. Of course within a span of few days, she used to return to the lady of the houses she worked for another loan. Amidst these she managed to save a little for her children.
But hardship seemed to follow her severely. Her husband was hospitalized and an appendicitis operation was needed. The very little savings that she had and borrowing from the houses she worked, were just not enough to tide over the hospital bills. And so with a heavy heart she went to the pawnbroker’s to pledge her jewels. At an exorbitant rate of interest, she received money to tide over the hospital expenses. She could repay the loan borrowed from the houses that she worked, on a later date, but the pawnbroker would need his dues at the right time. And to tide over this phase of her life she added the number of houses she worked. But things went bleak when the time for repayment of the principal was past over due and the pawnbroker would just not hear anything from her. At her doorstep would he come each day demanding his money and hurling the worst abuse ever possible when she pleaded for time. And ultimately the pawnbroker sent a notice saying her jewels would be put for auction. Poor Mangala, could do nothing when the Pawnbroker said no balance remained as all the money received from the auction was just enough to pay of his loan.
And so it is true when it is said: "The only man who sticks closer to you in adversity than a friend is a creditor." - Unknown

When in debt

What a crisis this debt creates. Sometimes to meet his daily expenses, sometimes to satisfy the beyond reach desires of his, man tends to take loan. Small meagre amounts, he approaches his friends or takes loan from office. Loan taken from friends, are returned at free will. No interest charged. Loan from office also gets deducted from their salary. And a situation arises when their demand for finance goes beyond what can be contributed by friends or taken from office. Well, they ultimately go to the moneylenders. They borrow beyond their repaying capacity and this is where they get jammed. On one side is the moneylender insulting and disgracing them, making them squirm in shame. On the other side is the need to live in a society where one has to fake their status.
Similar is the situation when one pledges jewels to the pawnbrokers. The daily wage earners find it difficult to just meet even their daily basic needs. To meet their expenses, they approach the pawnbrokers with their jewels. The pawnbrokers charge such exorbitant rates of interest that these borrowers end up paying only interest, and the amount he pays by way of interest exceeds multiple fold the principal. To redeem his jewels and other items that he has pawned, he approaches another pawnbroker, who sure enough takes advantage of the situation and his rate of interest is higher than the one previously paid. But to manage the situation temporarily, the loan is taken. And the same follows, monthly payment is done only for the interest, principal amount remains the same and time out…. and so on it becomes a cycle.
A time arises when repaying only the interest becomes beyond his capacity. The moneylender soon comes tapping on his door asking for the interest or the principle, knowing fully well, he will get neither. It does not matter since the moneylender is fully aware he has got much more than what he gave and he still possess the jewels. So finally the jewels/other articles are given off in an auction and the moneylender leaves with his pockets full and the borrower with a hole. The increasing rate of inflation sure is most advantageous to the moneylenders/pawnbrokers/finance companies and the like.
There are times when the borrower is humiliated to such an extent for non-repayment of the loan that he resorts to the ultimatum – suicide.
And so it is true when it is said:
"The only man who sticks closer to you in adversity than a friend is a creditor." - Unknown

My sweet little daughter

After nine months of waiting
Placed in my arms beautifully sleeping
Is this beautiful little flower
Filling our hearts with pleasure

Mischief gleaming in her eyes
She brought cheer into our lives
Lot of pranks up her sleeve
Excuses for those would she weave

Her first little steps did she keep
She turned around and saw me leap
With fear, her I tried to hold
Don’t worry her laughter told

As a child she would shy
To meet anyone she asks why
Now grown up, she is outgoing
As I marvel at god’s doing.

Friendship is sacred is her motto
So friends flock to her in toto
To her friends she is loyal
And so she is treated very royal

She takes her life easy going
Good is she in her dancing
To see her dance was the crowd
As parents we felt very proud.

As a person she is more than very adamant,
Come to it, she would never harm even an ant
Questioning her actions annoy her a lot
She says stain in dad’s image I will not

Very sensitive in many a way
Yet not a tear she shows away
As a friend this act I admire
But worry I do in mother’s attire

Differ do we in many a view
Problems propping always anew
Deep inside however we know
As friends, we love each other so.

Why is it so difficult to decide?

Many a times have I pondered over this. Human beings tend to look for an answer that satisfies them. They are not ready to accept answers randomly. In a way right, but there are times when only confusion sets in their mind. Strange are our ways of decision making.

My son developed rashes in his body and I took him to the doctor who diagnosed the same as chicken pox. So I asked him the instructions that I should follow at home. I put forth this question to the doctor, "Is it ok for my son to have a bath?" The doctor immediately said no, that having a bath is one of the reason for the chicken pox to spread all over the body. Well, he being a doctor, I gave in at that moment and returned home. But the curiosity got the better of me and I typed out the word Chicken Pox in the google. Well as I expected, in the instructions given there, it said, it was ok for the infected child to have a bath. Just that no soap to be used. And the child must be patted dry and not rubbed all over. One question, two answers. Left me in confusion as to whether I should follow the doctor’s advice or the information I got in the net. But finally decided to adhere to what the doctor said and am waiting for the 7th day to give a proper bath to my son. The reason to choose this option actually was different. The fear of causing harm or aggravating the chicken pox in him made me feel I should accept the doctor’s advice. And that is exactly what I did. It sort of explained the reason for me not to go ahead and give my son a bath, and yet not let my fear out in the open.

Another instance is regarding astrologers. Agreed, each has his/her own way of predicting things. But, just one horoscope and so many predictions!!!
When my sister attained marriageable age, my mother showed her horoscope to few astrologers. Each astrologer had his predictions. One said my sister had Chevvai Dosham, so some parikarams to be done. My mother went about doing what he said, in the hopes that my sister would get married. But no, nothing happened. Another astrologer said it is just a matter of time, my sister would get married and her horoscope is such she would bring wealth and happiness in her in laws home. Another astrologer said according to my sister’s horoscope, she would be a second wife only. Another said, my sister would have a late marriage. One astrologer said she would get married, but her married life would be short. She would lose her husband soon. And yet another saw her horoscope and just pushed it aside. When asked, he said, according to the horoscope, the girl will never get married. But still my mother continued her mission of trying to find a suitable prospective groom for my sister. By then my sister had decided she would stay single and devote her time to serve the needy and that is exactly what she is doing now. So here we have just one horoscope and so many predictions, with regard to the same topic.

These are just two very simple incidents that I have mentioned. But this is exactly how many of us delegate the decisions that we have to make. Strange is the way human beings think. We search for an answer, an answer that would be most suitable for us. We don’t have an answer framed in the mind and heart. But there are some titbits here and there. With these titbits matching a solution from an external source, we arrive at a conclusion. Thereby, we keep ourselves in the clear. If the solution we get is acceptable, then we accept it as our brainwave, otherwise we search for a source to shift the blame.
Let us learn to face life our own way rather than depend on others for the way our life takes its shape

"The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward." - Robyn Davidson

Our anger - why shower it on others?

When we are angry, we happen to use the worst way to exhibit our anger and that is in the form of words. Unintentionally, we use words that are very abusive, rash, harsh in every way. Words, that instill pain beyond endurance. Words that create a scar that can never be erased. A pain, that can never be healed. Sure with passing time, it might fade away slightly, but the scar remains to remind us of the pain. The wound from the injury sees its way to harm the receiver mentally. A blockade is created in the mind of the receiver. The pain so inflicted creates its own path to create a mental gap between the relationship shared by the receiver and the giver.
Words once thrown can never be gathered again. It can be related to the ‘send’ options that we have in emails. Once we type and click send, the message immediately gets sent. No matter what we try, we just can not revert back the message. If it has a positive connotation, then it is acceptable, but what, if the message has a negative content in it… What if we have poured out our anger into the mail and before giving it a second thought clicked the send button. Well it is gone to the receiver.
It not only makes an indelible impact on the receiver, even the person who spurts out such angry retorts is affected. Just imagine taking a handful of red-hot coal pieces and throwing it at someone. Before it reaches the receiver, enough damage is done to the person who is throwing it – their hands are burnt due to the heat of the coal. Such is also the case of abusive, angry words. Yes it does hurt the receiver. But the person who says so is also deeply affected. Is it possible for him to be at peace after having uttered such abusive words? Never- deep inside he would be feeling so guilty. He sure would feel ashamed at himself. But all this happens after his anger is vented out.
A good profound thinking should be given before we utter words especially when we are in our worst moods. For once the words are out of our mouth, then nothing can ever put it back inside. So better it would be for us to remain silent and let the anger pass.
There are a few who say that not letting out the anger might induce health problems in us. But I feel allowing anger to overtake us and making us handicapped at certain moments in life itself is an act, which would lead to health problems. And surely venting out anger in the form of words that hurt others is surely not the right way. What exactly would be our reaction if we were at the receiving end? We would be humiliated, insulted, deeply hurt. But above all, will we ever be able to look up at the person with the same respect? If we are prone to such feelings, why don’t we realize that such would be the feelings of others too and give a little thought before we vent out our anger?
Here is wishing all a wonderful happy cheerful day
That which is devoid of anger, in any way.

GENUINE APPRECIATION – GOES A LONG WAY

I am basically an introvert type of person. When in school, I would feel inferior amidst my classmates and schoolmates. Not sure why, I assume it is so probably because of not being real good academically, though I sure was above average. Well, I just would feel tongue-tied if I happen to be amidst anyone to whom I am not close with. End result, I had just 3 or 4 good friends and even to them, it would take eons for me to feel free. And so it continued till my 12th. College saw me with newer friends. Friends that I happen to make during the end of my first year. After college, it was office, and here too, I was very much comfortable with only a few of them.
So in short I was not someone, who would feel free to express myself. Deep in heart I had a lot of appreciation for my friends colleagues and others around me, but I just could not express myself. Felt, I would be laughed at by others or that they would mock at my words and so kept silent.
A course that I attended – Holistic Living – brought about some changes in my attitude. And with the help of my husband and my neighbor, I slowly came out in the open. Yes even now I do hesitate but the extent has reduced a lot. Slowly I started appreciating people online. It used to be about the inspiring messages, sometimes about their characters, sometimes about their family etc. Well a genuine appreciation and I received a warm response from them. I found that these friends were encouraged a lot in doing things and that too they seemed to better in their activities. And what really left me baffled is that they had this immense trust in me and paid heed to what I said to them.
This set me thinking what is stopping me from giving genuine appreciation directly.
Well I decided to give it a chance. We have sports committee members, association committee members and cultural committee members. I was one of the cultural committee members (what made them make me one is still a question that surprises me) Well we have the new-year eve programs and for the past two years I was actively involved in the same. This year however, I pulled myself back to let others play an active role. But what I saw surprised me - not even one member was willing to take the entire responsibility. Each considered only his/her contribution as their sole responsibility. It was at such time that I noticed the dedication, efforts, unity, coordination and cooperation of the Sports committee team. And that changed my thought and I put myself into the role in full. Well we did have a good time and it was enjoyed by all. I just noticed that the dedication with which the sports committee members were working just seem to go unnoticed by others who held themselves high more in complaining about what was not done than what these people were doing. I wanted to appreciate, but as usual, had the stage fear and fear of facing a full audience kept me from going ahead. I knew I was not right in doing so. Gearing up all courage I had, I requested one of the organizers to give me the mike for a few minutes. Mike in hand and feeling the chillness in my hand, I first apologized for my fear. And before I could shrink back, I had the words come out deep from my heart. Sheer silence followed and then I started with my few words of appreciation (yes the stage fear made me forget some words that I intended to mention) But I did appreciate their efforts, their dedication, time, unity coordination. And then to my surprise, the members received a loud applause. I felt glad that I brought out the words of appreciation, because I saw the expression in the eyes of the organizers. I am glad I did so because of the response I received from one of the members. He was choked with emotion when he came and thanked me for the appreciation.
A few words of appreciation, though costs nothing, has so much value attached with it, in the eyes and hearts of the receiver.
I am glad that I did it this time because I know not if I would be able to do so next time. It is best to do things in the present itself, for who is sure of tomorrow…. No one has ever seen tomorrow, for Tomorrow becomes Today and then Yesterday and before you realise, the time has slipped away.

women, thy thoughts are sphinx-like

Women’s feelings, so difficult to follow
Saying an yes when they mean no
Saying a no when they mean yes
Utter confusion in their own words.

When men express to her their love
She has a haughty answer to shove
And when in his expression he does falter
She leaves him, calling him a duffer.

When asked to come out by their spouse
They don’t and later do they grouse
What they say is really not what they mean
Blaming men when not treated as queen.

What exactly goes through their mind
Is something none could, till date find
And so men find it difficult though they try
To find a solution, on many do they rely.

An answer yet, men have not got
And so it has been a permanent thought
Hither and thither they do search
Which leaves them always in the lurch.

It sure can be said, men know not
For what a woman wants, is only in her thought
So try as they may men can never find
For a solution for this is a difficult kind.

A lady whose views are very clear
Who says her thoughts and does adhere -
Men oh men try to understand
Finding such a woman is not at hand.

Dedication in performing traditional rituals

Homam - Sacrificial ritual conducted with an altar of fire, as a part of daily worship, festivals and special occasions. A prominent feature in Hindus, we have the Brahmins chanting certain hymns for different homams to invoke the blessings of the almighty.
Few years before, it took a lot of time to prepare and perform these functions. Starting in the early hours of the morning with a homam to invoke the blessings of Lord Ganapathi, the function would probably get over by afternoon. We have the Brahmins chanting sacred hymns. A lovely gathering of relatives and sometimes friends.
Hearing such chants in the early hours of the morning I went to my balcony to listen to them. Well, I have no knowledge of what they chant or should chant. But I do know a few words from the chants, which are common. As I strained myself to listen to the chants, I could find that while chanting, the Brahmins, omitting few words and sometimes a few verses in between and in such speed, seemed to complete the entire performance in a jiffy. The ritual is done more for namesake and the Brahmins seemed more eager to just complete this and walk out rather than do the full homam properly. And if they are not in a hurry, these Brahmins have their attention diverted from the function like the Brahmin who performed a homam at my place 16 years before.
My brother in law had a small tape recorder, the size of a transistor. He wanted to record the chanting by the Brahmins so as to listen in future. Little did he know that he would be distracting them! As my brother in law pressed the record button, the Brahmins eyes and ears were all turned to see this piece. Chanting a few words, then his words would be,
What is this? Oh a recorder so small, are you sure it would record when I chant the hymns? He chanted a few more verses of the sacred hymns. Then back to his queries, would the quality of sound be good? Will I be able to really listen to my voice when I play the same? Back to chanting hymns then his queries again, is it ok if I just hold and see it? Shall I operate the same? Back to chanting hymns. And so on did the function go. Importance given to the small piece of recorder superceded the homam function in total.
Is my brother in law at fault for having had the desire to record the chanting and listen to them at a later date? Or is there a lack of dedication in these Brahmins wherein they do not really put in their full to perform these functions? As a commoner, we sure would not know the full meaning of what the Brahmins chant or whether he is doing the same dedicatedly until and unless we know the hymns by heart.
Advancement in each stage of life has taken a prominent place in our day to day activities and it has not left these functions also. The present scenario, neither shows any dedication on part of the Brahmins nor from the family members who want the homam performed in their home. Of course, there are a few who still pay importance to these functions unfortunately they form a minority and it sure is difficult to get such Brahmins to come to our home and perform the homams/puja.