I am basically an introvert type of person. When in school, I would feel inferior amidst my classmates and schoolmates. Not sure why, I assume it is so probably because of not being real good academically, though I sure was above average. Well, I just would feel tongue-tied if I happen to be amidst anyone to whom I am not close with. End result, I had just 3 or 4 good friends and even to them, it would take eons for me to feel free. And so it continued till my 12th. College saw me with newer friends. Friends that I happen to make during the end of my first year. After college, it was office, and here too, I was very much comfortable with only a few of them.
So in short I was not someone, who would feel free to express myself. Deep in heart I had a lot of appreciation for my friends colleagues and others around me, but I just could not express myself. Felt, I would be laughed at by others or that they would mock at my words and so kept silent.
A course that I attended – Holistic Living – brought about some changes in my attitude. And with the help of my husband and my neighbor, I slowly came out in the open. Yes even now I do hesitate but the extent has reduced a lot. Slowly I started appreciating people online. It used to be about the inspiring messages, sometimes about their characters, sometimes about their family etc. Well a genuine appreciation and I received a warm response from them. I found that these friends were encouraged a lot in doing things and that too they seemed to better in their activities. And what really left me baffled is that they had this immense trust in me and paid heed to what I said to them.
This set me thinking what is stopping me from giving genuine appreciation directly.
Well I decided to give it a chance. We have sports committee members, association committee members and cultural committee members. I was one of the cultural committee members (what made them make me one is still a question that surprises me) Well we have the new-year eve programs and for the past two years I was actively involved in the same. This year however, I pulled myself back to let others play an active role. But what I saw surprised me - not even one member was willing to take the entire responsibility. Each considered only his/her contribution as their sole responsibility. It was at such time that I noticed the dedication, efforts, unity, coordination and cooperation of the Sports committee team. And that changed my thought and I put myself into the role in full. Well we did have a good time and it was enjoyed by all. I just noticed that the dedication with which the sports committee members were working just seem to go unnoticed by others who held themselves high more in complaining about what was not done than what these people were doing. I wanted to appreciate, but as usual, had the stage fear and fear of facing a full audience kept me from going ahead. I knew I was not right in doing so. Gearing up all courage I had, I requested one of the organizers to give me the mike for a few minutes. Mike in hand and feeling the chillness in my hand, I first apologized for my fear. And before I could shrink back, I had the words come out deep from my heart. Sheer silence followed and then I started with my few words of appreciation (yes the stage fear made me forget some words that I intended to mention) But I did appreciate their efforts, their dedication, time, unity coordination. And then to my surprise, the members received a loud applause. I felt glad that I brought out the words of appreciation, because I saw the expression in the eyes of the organizers. I am glad I did so because of the response I received from one of the members. He was choked with emotion when he came and thanked me for the appreciation.
A few words of appreciation, though costs nothing, has so much value attached with it, in the eyes and hearts of the receiver.
I am glad that I did it this time because I know not if I would be able to do so next time. It is best to do things in the present itself, for who is sure of tomorrow…. No one has ever seen tomorrow, for Tomorrow becomes Today and then Yesterday and before you realise, the time has slipped away.