Friday, April 4, 2008

Initial charm weans as time passes.

The initial enthusiasm with which one gets involved, the inner depth and interest in any activity is soon followed by a neglected attitude in them.
Any activity for that matter, be it movies, corruption, murders, ruthlessness amidst people, the scam, the scandal, sports, etc. make sensational news today and is soon forgotten.
The good deeds are remembered if the person happens to be an extraordinary person or has done something exemplary. Even these people are forgotten and are remembered either on their birthdays or death anniversary, soon to be forgotten again.
And what about the crimes and mistakes committed. Do people learn from these mistakes? No, never, they just brush it off like some dust speckle and continue to do the same. And in most cases, this paves way for others to follow and commit any mistakes. And such crimes soon become news of the past when justice is denied or delayed.
Ok what about love. Here too the intensity is lessened. It is almost taken for granted when it has been accepted by both. And when it leads to marriage, well the honeymoon is over and so is the fun and frolic, so back to mundane activities seems to be the motto.
Unfortunately so is the case of many friendships. Starting with a hesitating hi, it goes on to blossom into a wonderful friendship, but sooner or later, there too it vanishes, either when one of them moves away to a different locality. The words and promises – your friendship is like life to me, not a day can pass if I don’t speak to my friend, so on and so forth, are not even remembered.
Why does the initial charm fade away? Is it because a new path has paved its way or is a new path being paved because the charm has lost everything it could say?
One of my friend was leaving for USA. And he had this to say to me, "Lakshmi, I expect at least one mail from you everyday. I sure would respond to all your mails. If I fail to receive even one mail per day, I would punish you severely when I return back home." Well I kept up the word from my side. Initially he responded to all my mails. And soon I would receive replies to mails after one week and the gap widened. Now I hardly ever send or receive mails from him. We do chat once in a while. Might be I too am to be blamed, why did I stop the regular activity that I used to do? But however deep inside I know, and so does he, that the friendship between us is still fresh and will be forever so.
Probably, in relationship, it is best not to pay attention to the weaning of the initial charm. The core matter probably lies fresh deep within, no matter how many days have elapsed. It can bring back the interest whenever needed. That is why it has a special name Friendship.


Vishwanath Seshadri said...

Quite an interesting insight, ma.. I must admit that this has happened with me too.. Initially, we have the conviction to "keep in touch" but over time other urgent matters come up and we tend to skip the commitments.. The underlying feelings remain strong but the outward actions seem muted..

The key to knowing whether the relationship was inherently strong or wasn't will be decided on how comfortable one is when we meet our friend again. Do we feel the same or is there some "distance" that has come up due to the passage of time..



KParthasarathi said...

There can be diminidhing external actvities like mails,chats or telephone calls but the frieship would remain at the same level of intensity if it were genuine and not superficial in the first instance.The warmth will always be there only to be be stoked again by fresh contacts