Monday, October 6, 2008

Listening to elders


Why is it that one finds it extremely difficult to listen to elders, who happen to be one of our near family members? Why does it not register in our minds that our people have only the very good wishes for us and whatever they say or do is for our very own good? Especially more so, when they do have the experience about good and bad.
I found myself criticizing my sister for not listening or paying heed to what has been told by our parents. She considers advises and thoughts of someone else as the best one for her when she ignores those said by her own people. And most of the time the views/opinions/thoughts/ ideas told by an outsider is exactly what has been told to her for her very own good by family member.
And realization struck me that I too am behaving in exactly the same way. I decided not to listen to an advice given by my mom while the same given by my neighbor I immediately agreed. Only to find that what my mom told was much more apt in the situation. And that is how it happens in most of the cases where we heed not to their words or advises. (I do agree good friends and some neighbors do have good will in their heart for us.)
Questions I have been asking myself:
Why do we do so? Is it because we don’t want to hurt the feelings of our neighbor or is it that we want to be in their good books? Does it not strike us that in the process of not wanting to hurt outsiders we do hurt the feelings of our dear ones? So do we find it correct to hurt our own people while trying to be in the good books of others and more so when how we lead our lives is in no way something that they would be interested in?
Parents who have given their all to ensure their offspring does not suffer in life or at least minimize the children’s suffering are pained a lot by this childish act, they hide it so as to not disappoint their loved ones. But the eyes hide not the real feelings and emotions. Why do we ignore the tears and words that the eyes say? Have we become so blind to these in our life?
When are we going to come out of the false status that we have been building around ourselves in the wrap of doing the role of being a goody goody in the eyes of outsiders.

How rightly it has been quoted:
"I have noticed that many people can admire only those who are inaccessible to them. They cannot admit or admire the genius of a person within their local community or circles. This phenomenon is even more amusing when you find that a guru or a specialist ceases to be one in their minds as soon as he/ she is accessible to them."

1 comment:

KParthasarathi said...

Not wholly acceptable.Advice from near and dear need not always be in our best interests clouded by their affection and concern.An outsider's advice can be dispassionate and objective.It is for us to evaluate the pros and cons depending upon the ability and knowledge of the advisor on the related matter.But I agree with Lakshmi that the feelings of elders should not be hurt while disregarding their advice.