The Meeting

She woke up with an unknown fear gripping her. She tried to ignore it, but to no avail. It has been there ever since her friend called her to say - “Dear, tomorrow is the day. 6.30 pm sharp. No postponing.”
Yes she had been postponing this for quite some days now. She was to meet a world renowned person, someone who had gained the trust, belief and loyalty of lakhs of people across the world...then why does she feel so different in her views she thought. She looked at the clock beside her bed. It showed 5 O clock.

Going into the kitchen she made herself a cup of coffee. She found herself tensed. She tried to bring herself to relax by doing pranayanama and chanting OHM. But her mind just refused to listen to her. She switched on the VCD player and played some soft soothing music. She tried to divert her mind by reading newspaper, story book. All in vain, her mind had total control of her and it took her back to this renowned person and she found an uneasy feeling build up from deep insider her.

Her tension was surmounting...she realised she was literally shouting at herself and others around her for no reason at all. Each step she took she sensed herself dragging herself about. Everything that she did seemed to be a herculean task for her today. Her concentration was dripping down to zero. And to add to her agony was the stabbing pain she felt in her head as knots got twisted in her stomach. She felt hungry, but could not get herself to eat her breakfast.....and she had another 12 hours to kill before she reached the time to meet him. She went about doing her regular chores, very slow she was today.

Why this fear, she tried to assess. She had heard that this renowned person used hypnotism to bring people to his feet. She tried to argue this point with her mind. How is it possible to have lakhs of people adhere to hypnotism?...but she could not win over her mind. More so since she heard of Mr. A having succumbed to the hypnotism. - even then only one she said to herself, but her mind was bent on thinking otherwise...one might be known...but how many unknown...it said.
Mr. A had come to meet this renowned person, but due to time constraint was returning back home...but just at the entrance his eyes caught sight of this person. Looking straightly into Mr. A's eyes, he whispered...not so fast...you are supposed to be mine....never think otherwise. From then on Mr.A followed and did everything told by this renowned person. It could be rumour for all one knows. But this is what kept ringing in her ears. He had done many a good deed to the downtrodden people. But she just could not give that a priority.

The calling bell rang shaking her from her thoughts. The clock showed 5.30 pm. It was her friend who had come to pick her up to keep the 6.30 pm appointment with the renowned person. Swallowing her fear, she went along. She knew there was no escape today. Enroute to the hall, she prayed to God - let there be some traffic jam. She pleaded with rain gods to appease her with rains...but today everyone were bent on ensuring she kept up the appointment. She had to meet him today. She felt like she was a scapegoat led to the sacrificial stone.

She entered the hall and her friend led her to the front row, so that she would not miss the big appointment. The big clock on the wall struck the half hour, and still no sign of him. Just like them, she thought, no botheration about the time of other people. She could have just walked out, but her friend ensured she did not. And another painful waiting session began. After 2 hours of waiting, noise from the entrance announced his arrival. She turned towards the entrance and saw him enter the hall. She tightened her fist and waited. Tall and in robes of white...he looked around and his eyes met hers and she was dumbstruck. She found herself being locked in his gaze. She tried to move and turn her line of vision, but felt as though she was stuck up in that place. Was she already being hypnotised, she wondered. Not even for a second letting her escape his gaze, he moved forwards and towards her ignoring the people around him. She was spellbound. Just a few feet more, he would be beside her and they would be facing each other...... and suddenly the hall was plunged into darkness.
An hour later she found herself returning home – minus her friend who felt the need to stay back to attend to volunteer work.
The next morning she woke up to a beautiful day...she knew things were not going to be the same ever.

Lovely Rains

Lovely is the weather today -

across the sky is the lightning
looks like streak of diamond
and beautiful grey clouds I see

forming a blanket around the sky
slightly heavier than drizzle
is the shower of rains,
gently blowing is the breeze
directing the rain water
as sprinkles on my face
nice, cool and happy I do feel.

savouring coffee

With a cup of steaming hot coffee

To admire nature I sit in my balcony

I look yonder and savour the sight

of the lake under a dim light.

The smooth flowing breeze

causing ripples on the water

and the reflection of lights swaying.

I close my eyes and feel the zephyr.

The row of hutments opposite my home

buzzes with activity at the crack of dawn

trying to outdo each other are these people

with rangolis adorning their entrance.

And far off I hear the birds chirp

here and there the roosters crowing.

Behold the sun showering its beautiful ray

welcoming the dawn of a beautiful day

I enjoy my morning cup of coffee

DEEPAK
This one is from my sweet little son Deepak.

I had asked him to do his handwriting.

He felt bored to do the same from his lessons or story book.
Saying he would write something different he came up with this

मेरा नाम हैं दीपक
दीपक का मतलब हैं दिया
दिया में होता हैं ज्योति
ज्योति से हैं रौशानी

रौशनी मैं हैं ज्योति

ज्योति होता हैं दिया में

दिया का मतलब हैं दीपक

दीपक हैं मेरा नाम.

I am with you dear

All along I wanted to say
I am with you all the way
Inhibition I felt in expressing
Deep in my heart I kept the feeling

Pent up, my feelings I did
behind an invisible veil I hid
I knew not what I was waiting for
I have to find words to tell you for sure


Irrecoverable loss I had to face
Holding me close, my tears you did erase
And you said, “I am with you all the way dear
Let your emotions out, do not fear.”

Words of my heart you easily brought out
then I realized why I had the doubt
It was not what I wanted to say
But hear from you each passing day.

Not sure if I had been wrong
But I know your words make me strong
Now I know I need no veil
I would express truly how I really feel.

Here is a situation wherein many lives are lost due to the dreaded swine flu. And here are many people exhibiting the extent of their greed for money. A mask is suggested to prevent and use as precautionary measure against swine flu. The demand for the same is just shooting upwards. People not wanting to lose the opportunity to mint money are selling them at exhorbitantly high rates. Rates which are just not reachable by common man.

Greed for money -------> losing values and basic ethics of life.

With my nephew

I had to go to Tambaram from Adambakkam to meet my Cousin sister's son. Never been there alone and so asked my sister to accompany me. She too wanted to meet him and so agreed to give me company. Neither of us have traveled by the local train in that direction and so it was a new experience. Asking my mama the directions, we embarked upon our journey. Having bought the tickets, we went ahead to board the train. As I looked at the tickets I realised we had tickets for the wrong station........and that too a day old ticket. Yet we went on. Great it felt to be on ourselves.

Walking for a 10 minutes brought us to the destination. My mama and his son in law were waiting in the entrance. We were very eager to meet my nephew but my mama asked us to wait for few minutes. And the moment we were given the green signal we rushed into the room. And there lying beside his mom all wrapped in a towel just his sweet pink little face seen was my nephew.

Washing my hands and before anyone could stop I gathered him in my arms. Oh a bundle of joy he is. And then I looked up to see the curious stares from all in that room. I was told the baby was not to be touched. I am glad I did that, because seeing me hold the baby, my brother in law could build the confidence to hold the baby and he too did the same. And yes he could not say how he felt, but his face and eyes specially told everything. The sparisam in touching this new born baby, the softness when slowly moving the finger along his hands and face, and seeing his reactions was just so very beautiful.

Two hours with the baby, time just flew by and all I did was to hold him in my arms or just keep looking at him which also is banned my sister said. But well I just could not take my eyes of him. How could one? So peacefully he lay sleeping, delicate tender and he had totally surrendered to his parents and others around him.

Visiting hours over, my sister had to drag me out of the room. I just could not keep the feelings to myself and so during our return journey my sister had to listen to my feelings and expression. I stepped into my home and rushed to my daughter and poured the entire thing to her. Oh god I still had to share and I called up my husband and shared this beautiful evening with him. Human I am so the more I seem to be seeking to share the feeling and so I decided it would be posted in my blog........

Happiness and Charity

There is this orphanange near my residence wherein we contribute either by way of cash or kind. Immense happiness fills our hearts in doing this deed. I have been to a few orphanages and I felt whenever I was contributing, I was doing an amazing deed. Oh how foolish I was.

This March my husband suggested that we hand over my 3 year old two wheeler to the orphanage for their regular use. Oh a wonderful deed indeed I thought The volunteers there thanked us a lot for this contribution.

Each time I call them, I am thanked profusely saying how useful the bike is for them in carrying out many of the orphanage activities. And a smile spreads across my face to hear the same. But then suddenly I was faced with this question. Am I the one who is doing something. I just gave them something, when I had a replacement for the old one. But is it not they who filled me with happiness beyond measure by giving me an opportunity of being able to do some good deed in my life. I am forever filled with gratitude to them.

Sacrifice

I noticed her in a wedding reception
beautiful she looked but filled with tension.
Yet a helping hand she offered to many
I felt, if only her, my brother could marry.

Approaching her with this proposal
saddened I felt by her refusal
Her better half she had already found
and to him only her life was bound.

A feel of gloominess engulfed me
I turned to leave but for an ailing lady
Smiling sadly she bade me to sit beside her
Saying “That girl is the sole bread winner.”

“An ailing mother and a wastrel father
education to take care for her sister and brother
So whenever the topic of marriage arise
she makes an escape with these lies.”

“Do you know her or her family?” I inquired
Seeing tears trickling, my question I regretted.
“It is not just knowing her,” came the reply
“I happen to be her mother,” so saying she bid goodbye.

Let go

A bird in hand is worth two in the bush
So goes the saying that all of us have heard
But also true is the fact that trying to possess it
Leads to disappointment and unhappiness.

Wriggling for freedom when held tightly
bearing the scar of its fight for freedom
or it gets choked and suffocated
all we are left with is its lifeless body.

So also is relationship in one's life
Assuming we are showering love
We try to possess and hold too tightly
Unaware that it creates unbearable pain.

An act of strangulation is what one feels
When being held in other's grip
So much so that they flee and seek freedom
Or the relationship undergoes painful death.

I was trying to hold steadfast to her
sort of insecure she might slip away.
I realized I was only stifling her.
I need to give her the breathing space.