Life

Many different ways in life to share
Many different ways in life to care
Many different ways in life to love
Many different ways in life to live

But only when a catastrophe strikes us
That shatters us and tears us apart -
That too sometimes way too late
Do we choose to change the path.

Traffic Constable

I was walking down the road in Adyar and turned into a smaller street. Four young men on two bikes went past me. They were suddenly stopped by a traffic constable. I could not assess what wrong these four young men could have done. They were on the right side of the road. They had not entered the wrong side of a one way. They were wearing helmets. There were only two men in each bike. The speed with which they crossed me showed they were within speed limits. Then why did the traffic constable stop them. The young men were showing their licence but the traffic constable seemed not contented. The men were then seen searching their pockets. I was almost nearing them when the traffic constable lifted his head and his face showed a change. I looked in that direction and saw a beautiful young lady approach him with a beautiful smile. It was exactly the time when the boys gathered some money from their pockets and turned to hand it over to the constable. “Please sir, this is all we have.” one of the young man was saying. As this beautiful lady neared the constable, I heard him advice the boys not to over speed and also to ensure such mistakes did not happen again. And he let them go. Heaving a sigh of relief at not having been given a fine and that they did not have to part with their money, the young men left, smiling and silently thanking the beautiful young lady.
I heard the beautiful lady ask the traffic constable for some address as I continued my walking.
Wow...what difference a beautiful lady on the road could bring about!!!

Deepu's school sports day

October 1st was Deepu’s school sports day. He was rejected during the preliminaries held at school. Very upset he said it was all due to his friends’ fault who failed to keep to their track and marching the wrong way during march-past. As such he was not in any event. I told him participation was important and he had participated in most of the events and that is all that matters. On his insisting I went to attend the sports day function of Navadisha Montessori School.

As soon as he reached the stadium he asked me and his sister Anu, to sit. Saying he has to be with his other friends he just absconded. Soon the events started and I was enjoying the tiny tots in action. I was amused by one particular event. Kids from 1st standard lined up for a 50 meter race. These kids had seen others run and not knowing how far they have to run, they continued their race past the finishing line. Wow…no stop at all they just enjoyed running and were in action. The PT master had to run behind them to stop them. 50 meter race and they had already crossed 200 meter mark. Their innocence was just beautiful to see.

Ok back to my son Deepu. He came sometime later saying he was thirsty. Took the water bottle and as a passing remark he mentioned about a puppy that lay hurt and bleeding. Again zoom he vanished. Past lunch time he came to me and said he was hungry. I gave him his packet of lunch. Saying he would eat with his friends off he went again. An hour later, time to go home and Anu went in search of him. Yonder under a tree he was seen with two of his friends. Anu returned with him, and he was sulking. Why so early we have to leave was the reason behind his sulking. I looked at Anu and she shrugged saying he and his friends were busy with three puppies and its mother.

Enroute I asked him what are the events he really watched and what he really enjoyed during the sports event. He mumbled something about running race and was silent. And then he told me about his day in the field. He and his friends had spotted a puppy that was hurt in its leg and had fallen in an ant hole. With the help of an elder person they took it out and had managed to clean it. Proudly he said he was asked to be in charge of the puppies - ensuring no one tried to harm it. He had managed to give it some water. Having a little rice for himself he had offered the rest of his lunch to the puppies and their mother. The mother dog seemed to trust him and let him pat her puppies. He was even allowed to have the puppy in his lap. He and his friends had given names for the three puppies. A gleam shone in his face as he described his day.

Seeing other children compete in final events, I did long to see my son there…not to win races but to be present in the events. But as he described his day with such pride in his voice, I felt this was much better than seeing the medals and certificates which were lying for the winners. The hurt in his face as he described the puppy suffer, helping the puppy and its mother and the happiness on having done his little bit for them made me feel proud of my son. Any medal or certificate would seem very small to this act of his I felt. Hugging him and tears

of joy in my eyes…we returned home, having enjoyed a beautiful day.

To invite or not to invite

Yesterday she was telling that there is a way to invite people home or for any functions. The head of the family (it should be a man) should extend the invitations either over phone or in person. After all they expect it to be done to them so it is also necessary that they follow the same.

This conversation arose because she was not accorded a proper invitation from a relative.
Okay. I called him up and asked him to extend the invitation accordingly.
Today however she has a different view in this regard. I am sitting right beside her cousin brother and sister-in-law (SIL) and she was asking them not to extend any invitation for any functions. Her view now is since they are old and not healthy they prefer not to go out anywhere. She added that when an invitation is extended, she finds making up to the invitation an unwanted force thrust on them. She asked her SIL not to be so formal.
Oh god I though how could she tell this…..in my midst that too? Or has she forgotten what she had said to me.
Now I am lost. For my house functions do I invite or not. (oh I have this concession see, I am temporarily taking the charge of the head in my family – my husband being overseas and this concession is something that she arrived at – if the head of the family is not available immediately then the lady can take it upon herself to extend the invitation)

Awful attitude of a car driver (continuation)

Oh today his attitude was not that awful at all. He turned the car and brought it to the side where I was standing waiting for Deepu’s school van. I would not say his parking was perfect today. But at least he did not park on the centre of the road. A portion of the car was on the intersection and a portion of the car on the road side. Good I thought.

My Crow Friends

A few crows enjoy my morning breakfast and sometimes lunch too. As early as 6.30 in the morning they come to my kitchen window sill and start cawing. They are the first ones to taste my cooking (not a bad cook I am I suppose since the number has increased from one to many in the last few days). One crow in particular decided to trust me. In the sense the crow would put its head through the window grills to see if it could see something edible. Many times it sits on my window grill and now does not fly when I put out my hand through the window sill to keep something for it to eat. Once I place the food for it, it caws and ensures the others are there for their breakfast. Oh but it also ensures it is the first to have its breakfast. Most of the other crows ensure I either move out of their sight soon after I place their breakfast or at least assure that I don’t harm them or catch them.
Of late I noticed this in my crow friend – the daring one – it has got a companion for itself I suppose, they always come together. The other crow just sits a little distance away from my window sill. My friend as usual comes and caws sitting on the window sill and slowly moves itself towards the grill. As I place its breakfast, it fills its beak and goes towards its partner. Filling its partner’s beak with what it has taken, it comes again for more. I enjoy seeing this daily morning. I also talk to them, which is very amusing to my daughter who has a hearty laugh to see me do so. Hmm I sure would like to pat the crow on its head…for being so caring towards its partner and also for being daring and trusting me.

Awful attitude of the car driver

I was waiting for the school van to pick up my son. A car came up and the driver stopped the car right in the centre of the road – four streets intersect here – and was speaking on his cell phone. I thought he would move the car once his conversation is over, but no…the car stood there. Another car coming from the apartments had to horn several times for our driver friend to move his car. He backed the car for the other car to go and was back in the centre of the road again. 10 minutes passed and no sign of his moving the car. My son’s van picked him up and the van driver had to honk his horn to make the driver move his car. This time our driver friend refused to budge. I tapped on his window and requested him to park his car on the side of the road. His immediate response was…why should he move his car, was it disturbing me? Not wanting to lose my patience I told him it was as such not disturbing me but what he was doing is not right. His immediate response was - When a vehicle comes was he not backing the car. He added that he did not even let them use the horn. It is for just two minutes, when the person comes he would leave. If it is not disturbing me why do I bother, what can't I just go away like the other people on the road.
Losing my patience I replied that though his car remaining in the centre did not disturb me as such, there were two wheeler vehicles that kept honking the horn which seemed to fall deaf on his ears and yes, he did move the car, but why did he want to do it only on seeing and hearing the horn of the other car? Can he not just park it on the side of the road?
I asked him which taxi service he was operating for? He refused to reveal the information.
He was not willing to budge even a wee bit. Thinking and saying loud what a lousy driver he is and a not so good choice for the company he works for, I walked away.

Why did I just turn my back and walk my way? Why did I not ensure he moved the vehicle? Was it some fear that he would do something to me? I know I did a mistake by moving away. There were so many things I could and should have done. I could have tried further to put sense into his head. I could have noted the taxi number. I could have insisted in knowing for whom he operates. But I also knew I was going to scream at the top of my voice and just moved on. Pity I thought.

Leftovers
“Amma, shall I throw out this dish that has been lying in the fridge for the past 3 days” asked the daughter.
“No dear, don’t” replied the mother.
“Why ma?” continued the daughter. It has been lying in the fridge for past 3 days. None of us want to eat it. That apart it seems to smell a little stale.”
“That is ok. We can give it to the watchman or the maidservant tomorrow. Food is so expensive nowadays we just cannot afford to throw it away. It is a sin.” said the mother.
“But Ma, the watchman has his dinner by 8 pm. Now it is already past 9.30. Even if you give it to him, he will only use it tomorrow. And the maidservant is expected only in the late hours of the morning. By then this dish would be spoilt completely. How can they eat it?”Asked the daughter?
“There is nothing wrong in that. They are a little poor. They would never mind if the food is a little stale or old. They would gladly accept whatever we give them, needy that they are” replied the mother.
Very familiar situation and happens in most houses.

As I opened the kitchen shelves to clean, I noticed a jam bottle lying behind. Oh god I thought, not remembering about the jam available I had bought new bottles. I noticed the date. Thank god it had not expired. I took out the bottle and decided I would give it to the apartment maid. And then it just struck me, I am giving away this bottle mainly because I hesitate to use it as it is slightly older than the one I had bought recently. I just did not feel it right. Keeping the bottle in the fridge, I took out the newer one. And taking some fruits I called the maid and handed it over to her. It sure does not matter for them, how old the stock is. All that they see is an item that they find very expensive to buy has been given to them for free. And they take it happily. Manufacturing date and expiry date is something that they never bother about. But educated and literates that we are, sure know about what to use and what not to. How could we do otherwise?
My mother’s way of doing things in this regard is so different from others. The food that we have (hot and fresh) is what is offered to the maid. There were many times that my mother came to my home in the mornings and left in the evenings. These days, before leaving for my home she used to cook rice just for the maid servant.
I am not saying we should not give leftovers to others. But at least we could check and ensure that what we give is edible and not spoilt, right?

Atonement
I am punished for a mistake - a mistake that I never knew existed nor aware that I had committed. If I have done it, I do want to atone for the same and reform. That sure is not difficult.
But I also want to ensure that I don't commit the same or something similar, ever again in life. How am I supposed to go about that?

PS:This post does not relate to some mistake that I have committed. This has been a thought that has been in my mind for quite sometime now. How to correct myself from a mistake that is invisible?

Trust
Necessity to provide for his family for the present and future made him go out of his hometown to earn the living bread. Now with enough to take care of the needs for the future, he returned home.

She had been waiting for him. She had involved herself in social service activities during his absence. When he returned back to his hometown, he joined hands with her and together they dedicated their time to serving the needy. Be it orphanages, old age homes or any such institutions, they involved themselves totally. Not to forget the campaigning for blood donation. A loss of child in their life due to non availability of blood at the time of need was the reason behind their intensity in this particular activity.

Happy and loving pair they were. But life took a drastic turn when she started falling sick very frequently. Assuming it to be just exhaustion due to rigorous activity, she just ignored her health. But it kept deteriorating. Soon his health too began to show a downward slope. Sensing something amiss, they had a thorough check up and that turned to be a threatening storm in their lives. Both were tested positive for AIDS. And by then it had reached its peak. It was eating them away.But what was taking their life faster than the disease happened to be the doubts that began to crawl its way into their minds.

She had this nagging doubt on him – he had been away for quite some time – and that too at a very young age, what if the physical needs overpowered and he relented to it.
He doubted her – having been away for quite some time, she had involved herself in social work. But in the process she had made good friends with many men. What if she had given in to the need s of physical pleasure?

A happy life soon took a drastic turn. If only they had expressed their doubts to each other or at least to a common friend. Their last few days were just miserable. Writing off their hard earned wealth to charity organisations, both breathed their last. Their last few days were spent hating each other just because mind created a nasty havoc in their lives.

If only they had remembered the blood donation camp that they had assisted. The camp wherein they had fought a case against the institution for using syringes that were not disposable nor was there indication of it having been sterilised properly.
But alas, they were filled with so much suspicion against each other that they became blind to what might have happened in their life.

“We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy” – Walter Anderson