Tuesday, September 21, 2010

To invite or not to invite

Yesterday she was telling that there is a way to invite people home or for any functions. The head of the family (it should be a man) should extend the invitations either over phone or in person. After all they expect it to be done to them so it is also necessary that they follow the same.
This conversation arose because she was not accorded a proper invitation from a relative.
Okay. I called him up and asked him to extend the invitation accordingly.
Today however she has a different view in this regard. I am sitting right beside her cousin brother and sister-in-law (SIL) and she was asking them not to extend any invitation for any functions. Her view now is since they are old and not healthy they prefer not to go out anywhere. She added that when an invitation is extended, she finds making up to the invitation an unwanted force thrust on them. She asked her SIL not to be so formal.
Oh god I though how could she tell this…..in my midst that too? Or has she forgotten what she had said to me.
Now I am lost. For my house functions do I invite or not. (oh I have this concession see, I am temporarily taking the charge of the head in my family – my husband being overseas and this concession is something that she arrived at – if the head of the family is not available immediately then the lady can take it upon herself to extend the invitation)


Dr.Antony said...

Don't make an issue out of nothing.Just invite every one !!

KParthasarathi said...

To invite or not and also the manner of extending invitation is our prerogative depending on our convenience and other circumstances.Others have no say in the matter.They can attend if they wish to if invited.In the modern times when there are several modes of communication, to hold on to the traditional way is not right

Samvedna said...

Since times have changed everything is changing..earlier it was mandatory to invite personally by visiting, but today I invite so many thru mail or phone also..actually it depends on our relationship also whether its formal or close.

deeps said...

Looks like the invitation formalities vary from place to place…
Well, in our area, if the woman of the family invites you, that means all the members of your family can come, that’s not the case if the man extends invitation…. At the end what mattes I guess is the relationship one has with other; not the blood relation I mean!

arvind said...

really can't get the thing..

sury said...

The issue is HOW we invite ones whom we want to visit us during our functions NOT how they feel on receiving our invitations. We need to inform by a letter (printer or written ) or by an email or by a phone call. However, when we choose the mode of a phone call, our tone must be consistent with the spirit behind the invitation. And more so, when an invitee turns up, we must meet him in his eye. Our body language and tone must be such as to convey that we are really pleased to have him with us. In the absence of these gestures only, invitees turn sour and resolve later not to visit even if invited.
In short, be genuine when inviting your guests. Generally, people particularly elderly men and women, when genuinely invited, choose to bless immediately on being invited and also convey their likely absence because of their age.
An invitee attends a function NOT because he needs the food (that is so lavish) but he needs the love and care you shower on him when he attends. This is particularly true for elderly people.
subbu rathinam

surjit said...

Not much of an issue.Invitation is important.

Ellen said...

Extending invitations vary all over the world in the manner it is being presented, as many and varied as the cultures that hold it. But I think what is truly essential is the sincerity that goes with the invitation. People easily and pleasantly respond to that.