Subdued Fire

Writhing in pain because of betrayal
From unexpected quarters – so very brutal
Tears welling and rushing out
Controlling it she could not.

Opening the valve of the shower
She let the water flow on her
Clearing the tears as the water flow
Closing her eyes she let them go.

Her eyes now closed she could sense
Yellow and red fire so dense
She realized the feeling with awe
She was burning inside, very raw.

Allowing the water do their charm
Thereby releasing her from the alarm
Slowly she saw the obtuse fire
Whimper and letting go the ire.

As she now opened her eyes
She could feel the cool slowly arise
Allowing the form of an aura of peace
Not anymore she felt the crease.

As she closed her eyes again
Doubting, if exists the fire of pain
What she saw amazed her
In place of fire a lovely white flower.

Friends

Friends that I have are very few
but from heart I know they are all true
I do keep regular contact
but never felt the need to keep a pact
for friendship blossoms from the heart
and good friends never go apart

Never stop or own the moral excellence in a person. It would be futile, since moral excellence as a character in a person, is like the fragrance of the flower that spread far and wide as the wind blows, with no boundaries for it. Everyone in this world needs to smell the fragrance of moral excellence and follow the same, so as to spread it further.

Initial charm weans as time passes.

The initial enthusiasm with which one gets involved, the inner depth and interest in any activity is soon followed by a neglected attitude in them.
Any activity for that matter, be it movies, corruption, murders, ruthlessness amidst people, the scam, the scandal, sports, etc. make sensational news today and is soon forgotten.
The good deeds are remembered if the person happens to be an extraordinary person or has done something exemplary. Even these people are forgotten and are remembered either on their birthdays or death anniversary, soon to be forgotten again.
And what about the crimes and mistakes committed. Do people learn from these mistakes? No, never, they just brush it off like some dust speckle and continue to do the same. And in most cases, this paves way for others to follow and commit any mistakes. And such crimes soon become news of the past when justice is denied or delayed.
Ok what about love. Here too the intensity is lessened. It is almost taken for granted when it has been accepted by both. And when it leads to marriage, well the honeymoon is over and so is the fun and frolic, so back to mundane activities seems to be the motto.
Unfortunately so is the case of many friendships. Starting with a hesitating hi, it goes on to blossom into a wonderful friendship, but sooner or later, there too it vanishes, either when one of them moves away to a different locality. The words and promises – your friendship is like life to me, not a day can pass if I don’t speak to my friend, so on and so forth, are not even remembered.
Why does the initial charm fade away? Is it because a new path has paved its way or is a new path being paved because the charm has lost everything it could say?
One of my friend was leaving for USA. And he had this to say to me, "Lakshmi, I expect at least one mail from you everyday. I sure would respond to all your mails. If I fail to receive even one mail per day, I would punish you severely when I return back home." Well I kept up the word from my side. Initially he responded to all my mails. And soon I would receive replies to mails after one week and the gap widened. Now I hardly ever send or receive mails from him. We do chat once in a while. Might be I too am to be blamed, why did I stop the regular activity that I used to do? But however deep inside I know, and so does he, that the friendship between us is still fresh and will be forever so.
Probably, in relationship, it is best not to pay attention to the weaning of the initial charm. The core matter probably lies fresh deep within, no matter how many days have elapsed. It can bring back the interest whenever needed. That is why it has a special name Friendship.

MY DEAR FRIEND

These words as a poem I wrote with a particular friend in my mind.
My thanks to him, whose encouraging and inspiring words,
prompted me to try my hand in writing. I know I am still an
amateur and have a long way to go and improve myself.
Thanks dear friend. I could go on saying more, but the pages
Would just not suffice to accept all my views.

Thank you GOD for giving me a true friend

Searching for a wonderful relationship
The best is what I call true friendship
I keep asking GOD for one such friend
And wondered why I lack in this end.

Many a people did he show
I later realized why HE did so
Trying to make me understand
The inherent qualities I can withstand.

And when HE knew I understood
HE did send me a friend so good
A relationship so pious and true
My dear friend, it is YOU

Platonic Relationship/friendship

Is it so difficult to have a platonic relationship?
I put forth this question to a very good friend of mine. His answer to it is - Ideally speaking yes, but practically speaking NO. Such relationships might be possible but the percentage of it is way too minimum, to even be seen.

Can there not exist a relationship between a man and a woman that is devoid of physical desires in it? Why does the society show narrow mindedness when it sees a man and a woman together and brand their friendship as an ‘affair’ or say there sure is "something" going between the two?
Why should it mean that in a good friendship between two people, there is a hidden affair going on?
Does friendship between a man and a woman culminate only to satiate physical desires between the two? Does love between friends of opposite gender, only mean something to do with carnal cravings?

My views about a platonic relationship is not where the friends sit with each other for hours together, either face to face or chat over phone or internet and in the process neglect their family life or ignore their spouse. It is also not about a situation, where the friends feel missed if they don’t see each other or talk to each other, even for a day.

I do believe a platonic relationship between a man and a woman is possible. It is one of the sweetest friendship that one can ever experience.

If such friendship is fading away from our lives it is more so because of the possessive feeling of their spouse. The suspicious nature inherent in the spouse of the friends leads them to conceal this relationship. The fear that such a relationship can not be accepted or will be misunderstood or what the society may say, to such a friendship, which in turn affects their family life, leads them to hide this relationship. When a situation arises as to which to hold on to – family or friend, to ensure smooth running of the family, family seems to be the one they have to choose as they are committed to it. Thereby the friendship remains hidden, or nipped off in the bud stage itself.

Trust/faith/belief call it whatever you want, is the base that holds strong and tight any relationship. Marriage is based on this concrete foundation named trust. If that trust is not visible, then how can one ever lead a life with happiness and joy in it. The absence of trust makes one suspect the other in life. Injecting venom in the seeds planted will lead to the death of the plant even before the shoots show their face, the plant just withers and dies, because the venom has settled in the roots. Does the root survive? Never. Such is the disaster that is created because of venom in the form of suspicion in relationship.

Physical relationship between spouses is something that binds them together. And it is a form of expressing love between them. And in that love is the trust that they share between them. I cannot, in thoughts or deeds, imagine a person having physical relationship with someone other than their own spouse. The relationship that one shares with their spouse is totally different from those shared with friends. There is this component of love in both the relationships. They have their own way of being expressed.

If the heart and mind is pure, the relationship is genuine, the trust is incomparable, then just seek out with sincerity in heart, one is sure to find a friendship that has only pure love in it – platonic friendship .

'Tis the perception of the beautiful, A fine extension of the faculties, Platonic, universal, wonderful, Drawn from the stars, and filtered through the skies, Without which life would be extremely dull"
- Lory Byron

When in Debt - Mangala

Mangala earned her livelihood working in many houses as a maid. She had to feed her three children and her good-for-nothing drunkard husband. Her husband felt it his right to live off in her salary, just drinking and betting on horses, even though all that he has ever done was drain her salary in full. The daily wage job that he attended, he felt was not upto his level. So the number of days that he stayed away from the job was more than the number of days he would go to work. More so he needed to be away from his job so that he could be present at the racing and gambling places. End result, the money that he brings home was not sufficient even to meet just his needs alone.
Not having had any education herself, Mangala wanted her children to study and now her children were in class 11, class 10 and class 7. Studying in corporation schools, her children did not disappoint her, they studied dedicatedly and the efforts were proving good with them gaining good grades in school. The income she earned was meagre and so she worked doubly hard to provide for their school facilities also. There were times when she found it real difficult to meet their school demands and so borrowed from the houses where she worked. Being an honest and sincere lady, she repaid the loan the day she received her salary. Of course within a span of few days, she used to return to the lady of the houses she worked for another loan. Amidst these she managed to save a little for her children.
But hardship seemed to follow her severely. Her husband was hospitalized and an appendicitis operation was needed. The very little savings that she had and borrowing from the houses she worked, were just not enough to tide over the hospital bills. And so with a heavy heart she went to the pawnbroker’s to pledge her jewels. At an exorbitant rate of interest, she received money to tide over the hospital expenses. She could repay the loan borrowed from the houses that she worked, on a later date, but the pawnbroker would need his dues at the right time. And to tide over this phase of her life she added the number of houses she worked. But things went bleak when the time for repayment of the principal was past over due and the pawnbroker would just not hear anything from her. At her doorstep would he come each day demanding his money and hurling the worst abuse ever possible when she pleaded for time. And ultimately the pawnbroker sent a notice saying her jewels would be put for auction. Poor Mangala, could do nothing when the Pawnbroker said no balance remained as all the money received from the auction was just enough to pay of his loan.
And so it is true when it is said: "The only man who sticks closer to you in adversity than a friend is a creditor." - Unknown

When in debt

What a crisis this debt creates. Sometimes to meet his daily expenses, sometimes to satisfy the beyond reach desires of his, man tends to take loan. Small meagre amounts, he approaches his friends or takes loan from office. Loan taken from friends, are returned at free will. No interest charged. Loan from office also gets deducted from their salary. And a situation arises when their demand for finance goes beyond what can be contributed by friends or taken from office. Well, they ultimately go to the moneylenders. They borrow beyond their repaying capacity and this is where they get jammed. On one side is the moneylender insulting and disgracing them, making them squirm in shame. On the other side is the need to live in a society where one has to fake their status.
Similar is the situation when one pledges jewels to the pawnbrokers. The daily wage earners find it difficult to just meet even their daily basic needs. To meet their expenses, they approach the pawnbrokers with their jewels. The pawnbrokers charge such exorbitant rates of interest that these borrowers end up paying only interest, and the amount he pays by way of interest exceeds multiple fold the principal. To redeem his jewels and other items that he has pawned, he approaches another pawnbroker, who sure enough takes advantage of the situation and his rate of interest is higher than the one previously paid. But to manage the situation temporarily, the loan is taken. And the same follows, monthly payment is done only for the interest, principal amount remains the same and time out…. and so on it becomes a cycle.
A time arises when repaying only the interest becomes beyond his capacity. The moneylender soon comes tapping on his door asking for the interest or the principle, knowing fully well, he will get neither. It does not matter since the moneylender is fully aware he has got much more than what he gave and he still possess the jewels. So finally the jewels/other articles are given off in an auction and the moneylender leaves with his pockets full and the borrower with a hole. The increasing rate of inflation sure is most advantageous to the moneylenders/pawnbrokers/finance companies and the like.
There are times when the borrower is humiliated to such an extent for non-repayment of the loan that he resorts to the ultimatum – suicide.
And so it is true when it is said:
"The only man who sticks closer to you in adversity than a friend is a creditor." - Unknown

My sweet little daughter

After nine months of waiting
Placed in my arms beautifully sleeping
Is this beautiful little flower
Filling our hearts with pleasure

Mischief gleaming in her eyes
She brought cheer into our lives
Lot of pranks up her sleeve
Excuses for those would she weave

Her first little steps did she keep
She turned around and saw me leap
With fear, her I tried to hold
Don’t worry her laughter told

As a child she would shy
To meet anyone she asks why
Now grown up, she is outgoing
As I marvel at god’s doing.

Friendship is sacred is her motto
So friends flock to her in toto
To her friends she is loyal
And so she is treated very royal

She takes her life easy going
Good is she in her dancing
To see her dance was the crowd
As parents we felt very proud.

As a person she is more than very adamant,
Come to it, she would never harm even an ant
Questioning her actions annoy her a lot
She says stain in dad’s image I will not

Very sensitive in many a way
Yet not a tear she shows away
As a friend this act I admire
But worry I do in mother’s attire

Differ do we in many a view
Problems propping always anew
Deep inside however we know
As friends, we love each other so.

Why is it so difficult to decide?

Many a times have I pondered over this. Human beings tend to look for an answer that satisfies them. They are not ready to accept answers randomly. In a way right, but there are times when only confusion sets in their mind. Strange are our ways of decision making.

My son developed rashes in his body and I took him to the doctor who diagnosed the same as chicken pox. So I asked him the instructions that I should follow at home. I put forth this question to the doctor, "Is it ok for my son to have a bath?" The doctor immediately said no, that having a bath is one of the reason for the chicken pox to spread all over the body. Well, he being a doctor, I gave in at that moment and returned home. But the curiosity got the better of me and I typed out the word Chicken Pox in the google. Well as I expected, in the instructions given there, it said, it was ok for the infected child to have a bath. Just that no soap to be used. And the child must be patted dry and not rubbed all over. One question, two answers. Left me in confusion as to whether I should follow the doctor’s advice or the information I got in the net. But finally decided to adhere to what the doctor said and am waiting for the 7th day to give a proper bath to my son. The reason to choose this option actually was different. The fear of causing harm or aggravating the chicken pox in him made me feel I should accept the doctor’s advice. And that is exactly what I did. It sort of explained the reason for me not to go ahead and give my son a bath, and yet not let my fear out in the open.

Another instance is regarding astrologers. Agreed, each has his/her own way of predicting things. But, just one horoscope and so many predictions!!!
When my sister attained marriageable age, my mother showed her horoscope to few astrologers. Each astrologer had his predictions. One said my sister had Chevvai Dosham, so some parikarams to be done. My mother went about doing what he said, in the hopes that my sister would get married. But no, nothing happened. Another astrologer said it is just a matter of time, my sister would get married and her horoscope is such she would bring wealth and happiness in her in laws home. Another astrologer said according to my sister’s horoscope, she would be a second wife only. Another said, my sister would have a late marriage. One astrologer said she would get married, but her married life would be short. She would lose her husband soon. And yet another saw her horoscope and just pushed it aside. When asked, he said, according to the horoscope, the girl will never get married. But still my mother continued her mission of trying to find a suitable prospective groom for my sister. By then my sister had decided she would stay single and devote her time to serve the needy and that is exactly what she is doing now. So here we have just one horoscope and so many predictions, with regard to the same topic.

These are just two very simple incidents that I have mentioned. But this is exactly how many of us delegate the decisions that we have to make. Strange is the way human beings think. We search for an answer, an answer that would be most suitable for us. We don’t have an answer framed in the mind and heart. But there are some titbits here and there. With these titbits matching a solution from an external source, we arrive at a conclusion. Thereby, we keep ourselves in the clear. If the solution we get is acceptable, then we accept it as our brainwave, otherwise we search for a source to shift the blame.
Let us learn to face life our own way rather than depend on others for the way our life takes its shape

"The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward." - Robyn Davidson